Your Piece of Me
by bobia
Summary: Would you let a piece of you die if it meant happiness for your true love? Jacob and Shy try to suppress their feelings thinking they can fight this force descended from nature; Love. Why are they so resistant? Would you make war to fight love? JacobXOC
1. smudge

Hey guys, this might be a little wordy in the beginning but don't worry it builds up! Its all to help set the scene. I feel context is as important as the plot so for those of you who enjoy reading here you go =]

Disclaimer – I hope this doesn't come as a disappointment to anyone but I've decided to change some things. Think of this as a wolftale. The character is still based on lovely, lovely Jacob but I won't make complete references to 'jacob black'. Jack will be his name; it's a mixture of Jacob and black. It allows him a new identity but is still able to be tied to Jacob somehow. This character is the image of Jacob but not the actual him idk if that makes sense lol - for any male readers who'd like to place themselves in his shoes. As for the lead mistress role, I am not putting a name!! This is designed so that you ladies can connect yourself more with the story, adhere to her character more as yourself than as her (I know we all pretend =]). The setting sadly, but necessarily is still in forks and there will be no vampires until later on! But there are werewolves so be prepared for battle O.o

(and btw this is my first story so feedback is appreciated completely! Negative as well please (not hateful thou). If you guys feel this story is too wordy let me know and ill either make a separate version or try my best to condense without being completely dialogue)

Chapter 1 - Smudge

I never could figure out how this thing works.

You know, someone does something different and that becomes the new cool, so naturally you'll copy. And of course you'll deny this profusely, wouldn't want to compromise your individuality would you? Story of my life. But this is not the struggle I am referring to. I fully understand the ins and outs of glorious, glorious peer pressure.

It's this unruly camera. Not completely digital like everyone else's, the ones who've inspired this madness of a birthday present. There are buttons and knobs and things no normal teenager should have to deal with. Well actually, I'm not normal am I? I'm mysterious and sleek and unique aren't I?

I almost drown out my own thoughts in an extremely loud snort. If I had to write a biography on myself, it would start and end with "A day in the life. " I have the basic routine- parents, house, school and friends. Not as picturesque as it sounds, everyone has ups and downs but for the most part I'm just sliding along life's banister, enjoying the ride.

Back to the camera, my object of disapproval for the hour. Picture taking is just about the only sanctuary I have in this forsaken place. And like all things pleasurable, it's proving difficult to master. As if I could take any picture worth capturing in this wet, dull town. Who names a place after silverware anyway? I bet you it wasn't always this way, this town. Someone damned it the very second they named it Forks.

I back up a few feet, focus the lens, and – click. The green street sign in front of my house is now staring at me not only from a few feet away on the corner of my block, but from the display in my camera. The picture in the screen has a black smudge, no doubt because of all this dirt. Is the earth really filled with this stuff? I turn the camera around looking for the little speckle of dirt but see none. I look again through the lens and then with my naked eye into the forest in the background, but in both the spot seem to have disappeared. Can being this far away from home make you hallucinate? The home in your heart, that is. My home right now is forks, but this wasn't always the case. I used to live elsewhere, civilization. What I would give to go ba-

"You know, if it wasn't written all over your face one might get the idea you kind of like this place"

"You always could read minds dad, I thought I'd make it easier on you" Sarcastic yes, condescending no. I love my dad, I do, but bringing me to this godforsaken place entitles me to a snide remark or two.

"America: Land of the free, home of the poor. You know this is hard on all of us but your mother is smiling again and we're not going to ruin that for her. You understand don't you?" This was more of a statement than a question. Respectfully but reluctantly I softened my jaw and relaxed the muscles in my face. After my dad lost his job and all the luxuries were gone, sold or forgotten, my mom went into a sort of depression. She was never good with change, which does nothing to explain why moving here would help her old self resurface. You learn not to question some things, well most things. Life just is.

--------

"Thanks for the ride dad." What I really meant was take-me-away-from-this-hellhole-asap.

"I'll pick you up after school hun." And after a kiss on the cheek he was off, no doubt to console or appease to my mother in some way.

Whoever thought I'd come to hate school so much. It used to be my element, my home away from home. The academics and the social life attracted me. If these people are what you call social butterflies I must've been a whole flock back home.

I spent most of the day observing people observe me. It's the first day of school; you'd think I showed up in the middle of second semester or something the way people stared. I made it to lunch untouched and ignored verbally. You'd think I had cooties the way people looked but kept a distance. It was obvious I was in their thoughts, and for some of them in their conversation. As I turned a corner out of the lunch room someone caught my eye, then my arm, then my side, then my bag. Of course I would have tripped, actually not of course because I never stumble, I am always perfectly balanced physically and mentally. Well until now.

I turn bright red, easily outshining the most ripe of tomatoes, as I swivel to face my hero, so-to-speak. To my surprise I come face to face with nothing but a retreating back.

"Hey, HEY! Where are- who are you?!" if backs could speak I'd be having a mortifying conversation on my part. But they can't, instead I stand dumbfounded for a few seconds staring openly down the empty hallway as if mystery person will come back. But I'm not that naïve, so I gather my things and drudge on to class and throughout the day.

When I get home I slip out my SD card to analyze the pictures I snapped that day. Boring, Boring, Boring. These pictures almost put me in a daze, how similar and dull they were. So much so that I almost skipped over the only picture that held any kind of remote interest. The street sign and mystery smudge. I squint at the screen, trying to make out a shape if any, but can make out nothing but the dark color. I zoom in until the spot takes up almost the entire screen, but its pixel appearance makes it almost as hard to make out as looking at it in the regular picture. Giving up I take out the card, close down the computer, and head downstairs. Mom is sleeping on the couch, dad is in the armchair watching TV, I am in the best situation possible.

"Dad, can I borrow the car? I really wanna put this camera to good use and here is just. . " Before I could even think of a valid excuse dad was already reaching over to the table for the keys.

Score.

Maybe if I drive long enough I'll find unicorns and rainbows and little leprechauns with pots of gold. .. This thought trails off as I drown myself out in my own laughter. Such a kidder I am. Magic and fairytales and such don't exist. Just like Santa and the Easter bunny and ghosts and all of those paranormal stories. Things . . . they just are or they aren't. Life just is or it isn't. There's no question or alternate motive. That doesn't mean you can't entertain yourself though.

That also doesn't rule out coincidence.

Just as I finished amusing myself with thoughts of foolishness the rain which had been pattering lightly against my windshield began to pelt it, like someone with a super soaker in the clouds aiming straight down. I pull over momentarily to let the rain subside, I'm out for a photo shoot after all, I wouldn't want the rain to blind me from the all-so-exciting landscape. I decide to turn on the radio, pass the time. Why the country yodeling coming from my speakers surprises me in this farmland they call a town I don't know. I'm not the only thing appalled by the sound. Apparently the rain was too, as it subsides to almost mist. As I vacate the car I realize I'm near a house.

Completely unaccustomed to the unwritten rules of forest-home-etiquette, I stride to the front of the house looking for the perfect angle to capture this unusual yet alluring structure. It was then that I realized the petite old lady sitting on the porch. I pivot on one heel to hurriedly return to my car.

"Do not go, the rain will fall no more child. No worries."

How strange, she thinks my concern was of the rain and not trespassing on her property. Even stranger that she had no concern of me being here uninvited. Well, she doesn't look like anyone I've seen before anyway. She summons me closer and I comply, shuffling to the base of the steps leading to the porch. She is petite but plump, brown but pale, with black hair in a coil at her neck and a look in her eyes that makes you question any and every theory or fact you've ever known. Her hands were small and bent in the most peculiar way, no doubt from a lifetimes worth of work, and one outstretched with the palm facing me as if to say 'stop'. So I do. But she continues to hold out her hand and I notice she's staring past me, not at me.

For the second time that day, I turn to face the person standing behind me. But this person is not a person at all and is not directly behind me. Across the road and into woods there's a blur of black when squinting, but once your eyes focus and the blur turns into fur, the black turns into dark brown; slick from the rain. I cautiously, because of the dampness and my own nervousness, descend from the step I had climbed before I stopped, only to stop again. This time out of my own will.

"Beautiful." Is all I could muster up. Nothing could explain this majestic creature better in one word. The size, shape, color, and movements were all of that otherworldly extraordinaire. How graceful and quietly it moved for such big a size, slipping in and out of the trees as it shuffled side to side. It must be two times my size. The captivating serenade it held over me is what kept me standing there that long before it set in that this. . thing was indeed twice my size, and still a thing. I had no category for it in my label-savvy mind. No label objects made their own category. Beware. And with this I backed up the stairs, all my caution focused on the creature, so naturally I slip a little going up.

When I reach the top step I turn to ask this woman how she could stop a beast that size as if she was some sort of natural force. Then like a door opening for the first time in ages, it hits me. The brown weathered skin, flat nose, stout figure, dark hair and almond eyes together form a very subtly powerful being. An old Native American wise-woman is not a force to trifle with, she's very intact with nature and all things natural, like brown beasts. Like the black smudge in the woods. Like the smudge on my camera lens.

I turn to begin my charade of questions when I notice the hand which was once suspended in the air is now in her lap. I turn quickly to see her influence on the beasts movements- prepared to flee, but it was gone. Facing the old woman again, I encountered a blank stare off into the distance, which I took as my cue to leave, my escape. And so I fled.

So guys if you've made it this far I just want to say congrats! I got a little carried away but I promise promise promise more detail! Dialogue and excitement! I just hope I set the mood for the story and I'm trying to make it a love story but not cheesy. Just bear with me, you won't be disappointed!

Comments comments comments please!!

-* mia


	2. lemon pie

A/N Hey, sorry its taking so long to update but I had majorrr before-spring-break things to handle but im ready to get back into it so I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoy writing it! You might notice that during the introductions between the main girl and others she isn't introduced but she will have a nickname that they'll use for her

Chapter 2 - Lemon pie

Sun. So many people take this brilliant sphere in the sky for granted. Today is the second day of school and the first sunny day since I've been here and boy how I've come to appreciate the burning sensation of a sunbeam. My newfound inspiration to embrace this place instead of belittling it can probable be credited to this warming weather. Today my friends, I'm going to make a buddy, form an alliance – that sort of thing.

Now, I don't know how or where but man I'm going to do it. I at least need someone to _complain_ to instead of ranting off in my head. You see, I'm all about consistency. If I don't know what it is I probably shouldn't, change isn't a word I've come accustomed to or even want to. But when life throws you lemons, well you make lemon pie damnit.

Sitting in English class, I find a prospect. She's quiet but not shy; I've seen her talk to a few people. She's not _completely_ absorbed in materialistic things judging by her apparel- she seems like an intellect. The bell rings and I quicken my pace to fall into sync with hers as we head out of the classroom and down the hallway. Before I can let a word even slip out of my mouth she glances over at me before shooting me a look and quickening her own pace. Before long she was at the end of the hall and I was left once again staring at a retreating back.

"You'd think I went to school with Houdini the way they can make themselves dissap- Oufff" I say this as I'm turning around to go to my next class and I'm sure your aware I've bumped into someone again.

"What _IS_ it with you people?!" I say as I steady myself. I don't even bother to look up and face another retreating back so I continue along my way down the hallway eyes, limbs, and mind all to myself.

"Hey-sorry. I was just going to tell you that it's not you, Amber can be kind of a bitch."

I slowly turn around, half-expecting to face an empty hallway. Not to my disappointment I'm facing a person, a guy- and a rather large one at that. Random, dreary town-mutant ninja students? This guy was as tall as a giraffe and as stocky as a lion and could probably lift both up at the same time.

"Oh, I don't even know who Amber is, so it's cool."

I tried to play off the fact that I had kind of just been dissed by this Amber girl and the fact that this guy had witnessed it. Apparently I was not a very good actress. Unknown guy smiled in that way that lets you know you've been caught but they're courteous enough not to call you on your bluff.

"Well, I'm Seth. I haven't seen you in school or the rest of the res before- you're new right?"

"Yeah, this is my second day here, I'm new-"

I suddenly remember that indeed I am new, and being late to class is not going to be a very good impression on my teacher.

"I'm new and also very late, nice to meet you Seth."

I turn to walk away, throwing my making-new-friends idea out the window- from now on interactions would be kept very short. And for once, someone would have to watch my retreating back. How satisfying this moment is- only to be interrupted.

"I'll look for you at lunch!"

Curse this small school, everyone had the same lunch period but apparently one student is more outgoing and persistent than the others. I guess I have a new friend anyway- if that's what you call him. The next two periods go by slowly and I occupy my time by planning escape routes to end possible embarrassment and ridicule the Seth kid could cause for me at lunch.

--------

When the time of doom comes, I get my lunch quickly and go to the vacant table I had occupied yesterday located conveniently in the far corner, only to find it full. The only other free table was semi-close to the middle of the lunch room. Although this was almost ground zero for a prime target of any embarrassment, I refused to be so cowardly as to leave the lunchroom completely. I half ate/ half picked at my sandwich and right when I convinced myself I was home-free, I heard it. The dreadful noise, the bane of my existence- a chair being pulled out from the table.

"Found you."

I looked up to see Seth already seating himself across the table from me and behind him four boys descending from their equally tall stances into the rest of the chairs at the table. One by one I examine the faces of the guys seated around me, never once verbally acknowledging their presence. The steroids they must pump into the water here, these guys are all built like there's no tomorrow. It seems like each one is bigger than the next. I stare on and off for a few minutes as the boys eat their lunch and talk to each other. Either they don't care if I speak or are waiting for me to do so on my own, whatever the case I'm just glad they're not talking to me.

"So, do you speak?" I guess I spoke too soon. The one who spoke was sitting to the left of Seth, and his tone was not inviting at all.

"Jeez Paul, she's not going to if you talk to her like that. " Seth said, and then turning away from Paul and to me he says " I was going to wait until you felt comfortable speaking but apparently some of us aren't that patient. This is Paul, Embry, Quil, and Jack." As he says each name I follow his hand and meet everyone eyes, well almost everyone. As I turn to identify Jack I was left examining the side of a face as he was turned away from me, away from the table. Fine, I didn't want to look at him anyway.

"So, you don't speak. I guess you don't have a name then." Paul said in a matter-of-fact tone. Of course I speak; well at least Seth knows this. I was just so put off from the Amber incident I decided to hate the world- well everyone on the res for that matter.

"She's shy." Seth said in my defense. But Paul, being the smartass that he is, decides to purposefully misinterpret Seth's remark on my personality as being my name.

"Shy. That's an interesting name." Paul said as if seriously pondering the thought and then added with a wink "I like it." His playful yet mocking remark made up my mind. I officially hated these guys.

"Welcome to La Push Shy" Embry said in a sincere tone.

"Yeah, welcome to our humble abode." Quil added with a sincere smile, dragging out the 'o' in abode.

Seth, Quil, and Embry seem nice. Too bad I have to hate them. And Jack. . . well just forget him. But when the word 'forget' crossed my mind, it twisted my thoughts, kind of like when you know you're lying to yourself but you try to convince yourself its true for your sake.

The rest of the period went by without another word to me, but I did receive the occasional sympathetic glance from Seth. Maybe I'm just overreacting, being a baby. One girl was rude, so what? These people are being nice to me, well most of them, and I'm possibly ruining the only chance I have at making friends. Before I could correct my mistake though, the bell rang and we were all going our separate directions. Maybe I'll catch Seth before the end of the day, make some sort of amends.

It's as if someone was listening in on my thoughts. My last period of the day and I'm seated next to the one and only Seth. I was greeted with a smile which I returned. Half-way into the period I fold up the note I had written and pass it to Seth.

It read 'Hey Seth, sorry for the way I acted at lunch. Change isn't exactly easy for me. Thanks for sticking up for me btw.' I figure I might as well start off with the facts. I placed the note on Seth's desk and a minute later a piece of paper hit my arm.

'It's cool Shy, I understand. And no prob, Paul can be a bitch too sometimes lol.'

I contemplated asking him about Jack but decided against it. I think I've already caused enough drama for one day.

My next not to him read ' lol, I guess I'll just have to get used to it? Lunch again tomorrow?'

I looked up at Seth confused as I read his next note ' No dizzyyyyy.' He laughed and nodded his head yes.

--------

On the way out to the parking lot I decide to take advantage of the clear skies and go take pictures. Dad let me use the car today, he was staying home, and so I drove down the same road as the day before. I don't know why I decided to; I guess you can say I was compelled. By what force I have no idea, but I just felt it. I was being pulled that way. I stop in front of the same house from yesterday expecting to see the same lady from yesterday but was surprised at the sight ahead of me. The native american lady from yesterday was replaced with two large native american boys. Seth and Jack, and just as in lunch today Jack had his back to me and Seth was facing me.

"Is it lunch time already?" Seth said jokingly, looking at an imaginary watch as I neared the porch. Jack, obviously confused as to who Seth was talking to, turned around to face my direction for the first time today. I don't even know how to explain what happened next. The look on Jacks face was priceless in a bad way. This is the first time we've ever made eye contact and its understandable why. I've never received such a look of disgust and hatred as from him. I've never felt so unwanted and out of place in my life. Jacks stony gaze could cut diamonds. I gasped and looked away, anywhere and everywhere but at him. He reciprocated by getting up and walking into the house.

"I'm sorry Shy, he's just not- I mean Jacks just-" Seth was stumbling for an excuse for his friend.

" Do-don't worry about it Seth, it's not your battle to fight. I don't know what his problem is with me though."

" He doesn't – " Seth cut himself off. It was quiet for a few seconds, both of us still mulling over what just happened. Then suddenly Seth spoke.

" So, what's with the camera?" I almost forgot I was holding it. I almost forgot what I even came here for, Jack had completely wiped my brain.

"Oh, this is for- well, I'm just taking pictures really. I actually came here to see this woman but. . .well I guess it can wait er- it doesn't matter anymore. " I was going to ask her about the beast but I don't know if Seth or anyone knows about it and I wouldn't want to scare them.

"Woman. Here? Who- oh you must mean my grandma. That's funny, she hasn't been outside in a while. . ." Seth's thoughts seemed to drift silently and as he pondered my eyes drifted along the front wall of the house. As I glanced passed the window I noticed the curtain swaying slightly, as if someone had been watching us. Watching ,me.

"So where do you live on the res? I don't remember there being any houses for sale. . " Seth looked around as if scanning the land would help him remember something.

"Well, I actually don't live on the res. I live in Forks." Imitating Seth's actions, I looked toward the general direction I had come from- the direction to Forks.

Thoroughly confused, Seth asked " So how come you go to school with us, I mean on the res?"

"The realtor made a mistake and told my parents we were in the La Push district but it turns out we're in Forks. I was already enrolled so. . "

"So maybe you should just go back to wherever you came from." Where did Jack even come from? I didn't hear the door open; maybe he came from the back of the house. As he walks toward me, well toward the road, I decide I'm going to confront him about his attitude. I take a step and my foot gets caught in a root; Mother Nature is never on my side it seems. Just as I was about to eat dirt something caught my arm, then my side, then my camera and set me up right in a kind of half spin. In the midst of that there was a clicking sound like the one my camera makes. In shock I stared at Jacks retreating back, on his way across the road. This scene was all too familiar. Yesterday, after lunch when I so gracefully stumbled but was caught. That was Jack. The same strong hands and feeling of security embraced me right now as it had the day before in school.

I turned around to find Seth smirking with his arms crossed over his chest, also staring at Jacks retreating back. When I turned back around Jack was gone.

"You know, I pledged to a sorority for a little while; tried the whole sister-family bonding thing but it didn't work out. We had to ask permission to show our backs to the sisters." I nodded my head in the direction Jack had gone and added "He would fail miserably."

"Jack does not fail his family. It's in his blood." For the first time since we've spoken Seth sounded deadly serious. I eyed his tense jaw and narrowed eyes and took a step back. Seth seemed to snap out of it and his natural joyous demeanor returned.

"Why didn't I see you guys in school yesterday?" It was true, yesterday the boys had been missing from the lunch room and Seth had not been in my class.

"We. . well we don't go to school the first day. Kind of a tradition-thing-we do- sometimes." Not only was his answer sketchy but he avoided my eyes and laughed nervously after he finished his sentence. I feel like he's lying but who am I to judge? Besides I think it's too early to be assuming things.

"Well you guys better come tomorrow, I don't think I can do it alone there again. . " I replied honestly. I can only imagine what a school full of Ambers will do to me without at least Seth to talk to.

" Oh we'll be there. I don't wanna miss any minute of this. . " Seth said as he smiled to himself. I couldn't help but feel like I was missing something.

"Well I oughta get going, my parents will be wondering. ." This is a lie on my part. They probably don't even realize I should've been home from school over an hour ago. I turn and start the cross the short distance back to the car.

"Shy. . . come by again sometime." I half turn my head just enough to see Seth smirking once again. I nod my head and head on home.

--------

Laying in my bed I replay the events of the day completely bewildered by how eventful and chaotic my life had become in two short days. Thinking about the way Jack saved me today and the day before made me angry and something else at the same time. I started to distinguish what the something else feeling was before I stopped myself. So what if he saved me from falling. It was probably his fault anyway.

Then I remembered the clicking noise. Popping the SD card into my computer I look at the most recent pictures taken. There's only one. It's blurry, upside down, and at an odd angle. Me or Jack had probably snapped a picture somehow during the little mishap. The picture was mostly green except for three blurs. It was too blurry to make out any shape or details, anything except the colors. Grey, black, and brown.


	3. make me

A/N please please revieww! Good or bad even one word! Just let me know someone is actually reading my story, even just one person. Its motivation!!!

Chapter 3 – make me

I'm not one to question or intrude, but these smudges have earned my special attention. I can't just ignore it now. One smudge is one thing; three other smudges in three other colors are something to worry about _especially_ since I've noticed them in front of someone else's house. Disregarding a suspicion for my safety is fine, allowing others to be in danger knowingly is just wrong. Everyone deserves a heads up; someone was always there to catch me before my fall.

This is the excuse I used to go to La Push after school the next day. Like clockwork Seth was outside as I arrived, and with company. But instead of Jack, this time I had the pleasure of having Paul and Embry in my presence. Smile and wave, just smileee and wave. And so I did. As I approached the porch this time I didn't wait for an invite. Instead I waltzed right up there as if I did it every day and sat down right next to Paul.

" Why, hello big bad I-talk-so-much brother-man sir."

Before Paul could even open his mouth I've already initiated the conversation, sarcastic or not. I might as well beat him to the punch. I turn to Seth and Embry and smile a hello-trying to say 'hey' over their loud laughter would be almost pointless anyway. When the laughter subsided Embry asked

"Hey, where were you at lunch today?' accompanied by Seth's "Yeah, you weren't in class today, what's up?"

I knew the questions were going to come eventually and I prepared an excuse. During lunch I was actually doing some research on the animals of the area and searching the news for any animal alerts or sightings, but came up empty handed. During my class with Seth I was printing out pictures of the smudges to show them, I couldn't show up empty handed- they'd probably take me as a joke.

"During lunch I was changing my schedule, they had me signed up for a class I had already taken." This was only a partial lie, I did go to change my schedule but it didn't take the whole period. I turned to Seth's waiting expression and said "And during class I was at the nurse's office. I think the change in the weather is messing with my system." I added a little cough to emphasize my mock illness. They seemed to believe me for the most part, they proceeded to make jokes about me being too wimpy to handle a little rain.

Whatever. I don't care, as long as they don't think I spend all my time worrying about little things in the forest like a little kid.

"Hey guys, I have a question." I tried to sound as nonchalant as I could but I guess the fact _I _had a question for _them_ was enough to surprise them into a unified silence. I pulled the folded up piece of paper out of my pocket which I stashed in there at the end of last period. Unfolding it I passed it to Seth first who passed it to Embry, then Paul, and eventually back to me.

"Those two pictures I took here, well one was right here in front of this house and one was in front of my house over in Forks. I don't know what it is but when I was here for the first time I saw this animal in the woods and I think that's what I captured in these photos." I paused to gage the reaction from the boys. Seth and Embry were glancing at each other and just looking around at anything and nothing. Paul looked annoyed, but this was of no alarm, he seemed to be the irritable type. No one's provided me with any explanation so I ramble on.

"…I'm just saying the beast I saw was huge- I mean HUGE and I just wanted to let you guys- well see if you guys knew anything about it. To make sure I'm not just going crazy or anything."

"Going crazy about what?" Quil and Jack cross the lawn towards us and as Quil is waiting for an answer him and Jack position themselves on the steps- him sitting facing us and Jack standing as far as possible with his arms crossed gazing in the opposite directions.

". . . well I kind of saw this thing. . well animal, and more than one" I started saying to Quil whose eyebrows shot up in surprise." and I was just wondering about it and warning you guys in case you didn't-"

"In case we didn't know? In case we couldn't handle it? We handle ourselves just fine. You know you're the one that seems to be running into all these problems. For god's sake you can't even stand up straight half the time! Everyone else has been here for years and when you come around 'seeing' things you expect people to jump up and run? If you're so scared go home."

… Shut down.

Never before in my life have I been treated with such distain. And all from one person! I don't even look up to meet Jacks eyes after he's finished his little charade. All the while he was speaking animatedly, hand gestures and all. I don't know what I've done to him to make him hate me so, but I do know one thing. It hurts, and not in a humiliating way. Not because he's yelling at me. It's the feeling you get when you know someone's hiding something from you that everyone else knows. Betrayal. I fold the piece of paper up and put it in my pocket. _Everyone _is looking around uncomfortably now, well everyone except Jack.

"Make me." I say it so low I almost don't hear myself say it. I say it so absentmindedly I have no filter to stop the words from flowing out of my mouth. One by one heads turned my way. Even Jack's.

"What?"

"I said make me. You want me to go home so make me. _You_ don't want me here? _You_ want me to leave? So _make_ me." I tried to maintain my temper but by this point I was almost directly in front of him.

"You've been nothing but rude and nasty to me since I've been here. I don't know what your problem is but I have done NOTHING to you. If you detest me so much stop saving my ass. If you don't like me say so because from what I see, you're just scared." And this is the truth. All the while I was dishing him his, I was staring menacingly into his eyes. They say the eyes are the window to the soul and the best way to get someone's attention is to stare into them. Apparently it's also the way to see what people are trying to put off.

On the surface his glare was annoyed and angry, but like everything it has weak spots. And when his defense weakened I caught a glimpse of something else-confusion. Jack was confused, he was scared. Not the kind of scared you get when you're in danger, the kind you get when you know you're _not_ in danger but you don't know what to make of it. Utter Confusion.

A snort first and then a chuckle, that's what came from behind me. Before you knew it the boys were laughing and hitting each other on one another's arms in disbelief. Disbelief that I stood up to Jack and disbelief that for once, Jack had nothing to say. Before I could move from in front of him Jack slid from between me and the rail he was leaning on and trotted across the streets and into the woods.

"And of course he goes into the woods after I tell him about what I saw. I hope his bite is bigger than his bark, 'cause that's a big beast out there." I said to no one in particular. Exasperated I turn around to face the boys.

"I guess I showed him." I said quite please with myself. To my dismay not everyone seemed to be as confident in my newfound authority.

"Don't count on it Shy-girl." Paul said with a wicked smile.

"From what I've seen, he has a pretty big bite." So someone _had _heard me, someone being Quil. But what did that mean? He didn't say it in a perv way, I don't think he meant it sexually. What had Jack been biting that would make them so confident? Well he is a huge boy, he _must_ eat a lot. All of them must send the monthly grocery bill sky rocketing.

"Speaking of bites, Seth- when's your grandma gonna be done with dinner? We're hungry man! Tell her we're growing boys!' Embry was obviously not accustomed to patience either. Is that a La Push thing? As the boys carried on about dinner and the plans for the rest of the night I began to feel like an intruder and shuffled nervously in my seat getting antsy to leave. As if on cue Seth notices my fidgeting and says

"hey-Shy, you wanna have dinner with us? Real La Push style." He added with a smile.

"Uh- sure, that'd be nice. We don't really cook dinner at my house anymore."

"Although Jack will be there, so maybe you shouldn't come. I'm still not sure if you can handle a bite. You look like the nibble-type." Paul could be such an asshole sometimes. To think I'd be intimidated by Jack, scared even. This kids _gotta_ be joking. I don't think he remembers how I completely shut Jack up a few minutes ago, even ran the poor shmuck off. I'm going to dinner whether Jack is there or not.

-------

I guess the 'or not' stuck. Sitting around the table is all the boys-less Jack. Seth's grandmother, who I'd been introduced to as Anay, was in the kitchen with Seth's mother eating in peace away from these barbaric like-teenagers. Dinner was fun without Jack, although I wish he would've shown up. If he had shown up I would be able to prove how strong and unafraid I can be with him around, indifferent even. Without him here, I can prove nothing. Action speaks louder than words. I don't understand how he could not be here anyway. He has to eat, at least 4 times a day if not more. There's no way he could skip a meal. I hope he's not going hungry just to spite me. Well then again, he does have a house. I don't know why I assumed the only place he would be able to eat is somewhere that I'm present.

I don't know why I'm caring if he eats at all. We're not friends or even friendly. But, he is human. I have compassion for my own kind, no matter how mean they are.

Dinner is better than I thought it would be. These aren't the sex crazed, dirty, asshole-ish, typical teenage guys I'd made them out to be. They're actually pretty funny and besides a snide remark or two from Paul I was actually really enjoying myself. And then he walked in. Well walk isn't exactly the word, he _stalked_ in; the walk of a predator on its prey. I could only wonder who'd be left to bear the brunt end of his wrath now.

"You made it Jack, we thought you bailed for a minute." Quil greeted Jack with open arms. Traitor. I liked our five-some without Jacks presence.

"Yeah Jack, I'm glad you finally came. I don't think I could stand anymore of Shy's moping. She's hardly eaten a thing." Paul added in an irritated tone. What on earth is he talking about? Must he always try to humiliate me in any way possible? Besides the fact that what he said is preposterous. I had been eating and enjoying myself the entire time, not moping! I looked down at my plate to find the chicken still whole, rice merely moved around the plate and maybe a spoonful or two of the corn gone.

"Is it not good?" Seth clearly overlooked the underlying meaning in Paul's words.

"No! I mean yes it's good, it's great. I don't know wh- I mean I thought I-" I cut myself off. I thought I had been eating, I mean hadn't I? Had I really been so caught up in thoughts of Jack I forgot to eat?

"She was probably too scared to eat, Jacks out of sight but not out of mind." Seth said looking at me. Then he added "You've got the poor girl scared shitless Jack, who knew you to be so low as to pick on girls man?" he asked Jack with a smile.

The entire table erupted in laughter. I caught Seth's eyes as Jack sat down and thanked him with all the emotion I could project through my eyes. Glad that the topic had switched from me to cars or something, I relaxed a little. After a few minutes I could bring myself to lift my eyes from my plate and glance around the table. When I got to Jack his eyes bore into mine, so far it actually shook me a little. Where from and why were his feelings so intense?

I decided to hold his gaze; I'm tired of having the lower hand, being the coward. I held his gaze until Embry noticing our staring-war caused Jack to back down, dropping his gaze to his plate as he proceeded to eat his dinner.

-----

After all of the thank-yous and good-byes I'm ready to head out the door. Halfway through the door Embry pipes up

"Do you need someone to walk you to your car? It's kind of late."

"Oh um sure Embry, thanks." Embry stands up as he takes a step not in the direction of me but of the kitchen and he adds

"Go ahead Jake, take Shy to her car." And with a chuckle he's through the door to the kitchen followed single-filed by Quil, Seth, and Paul all snickering as they cross the threshold. Set up. I should've seen that coming. Apparently the little riff between Jack and I has become some form of amusement to them. I stand awkwardly as Jack continues to sit facing the television, and when I'm sure he's going to completely ignore my existence I turn toward the door by myself.

"It's alright." I say to myself more than anyone else and excuse myself from the house. As I'm walking down the steps I hear a jingle and a thud. I never turn to look but it doesn't take a genius to know Jack followed me.

"Wouldn't want the lions and tigers and bears to get you." He said in a joking tone. An actually joke, from him to me. It was sarcastic of course, but still playful. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't anything heartwarming but it was definitely a start.

"I handle myself just fine." Not letting go of my bitterness towards him easily I use his words from earlier against him. We walked the rest of the way in silence. As we approach the driver's side Jack takes one elongated step and open the driver's side door. Before I get in I pause and turn to face him. I don't know where I'm getting these balls from lately but they keep coming. I stare at him for a few seconds, taking in the chiseled structure of his face. Jack stares back but after a while he gets uncomfortable and looks away. Not moves away-just looks.

"You're gonna have to get used to me Jack whether you like it or not." I say with the most earnest tone I can muster up." Whether you want to or not." And with this Jack turns his gaze back to me, but says nothing. Instead he backs up a little and holds the door open wider, signaling it's my time to go. I take a step forward and he turns his gaze again to the side. I nod my head and get into the car, followed by Jack closing the door for me. Without looking at me he says

"Shy. . ." I look to where his hand is resting on the door " just go home okay. I don't want you to but sometimes you just don't question things. Some things just are." This seemed like it was being half said to me and half said to him. Before I could interrogate him he was already off towards the house. What did he mean he didn't want me to? But he hates me, we argue and we don't get along and he can't stand me and-

And none of this is true. Well the arguing is but it's not real arguing. Its real emotion for sure, but its just being focused the wrong way. That's usually the reason people argue about nothing, they just don't understand each other. I don't even know if I _want_ to understand Jack. I thought I hated him.

Maybe I just _wanted_ to hate him. Hating someone is easier than dealing with them; you just cast them to the side. I don't think I can do it anymore, too much has been said. Everything and nothing has been revealed all at once. Oh man, I need to lie down. My drive back to forks is filled with questions I don't have the answers to. Just lovely.

Although I didn't turn in its direction, I noticed the blur in the trees outside my house. I noticed it the night before also. I have a feeling I'll be noticing it for many nights to come.

Review review please! I need motivation!!! Ineed to now someones actually made it to the end of the third chapterrr!


	4. whirlwind

A/N – although you guys aren't reviewing im going to post another chapter out of the kindness of my heart =\

Chapter 4 –

My mind has been in a whirlwind these past few days. This guy Jack-I mean I don't even know what to think or say about him. You would think that night in front of Seth's house was some sort of a break-through but apparently it wasn't in Jacks eyes. When I saw him in school the next day I decided to give our new-found understanding a test and approach him at his locker. When he saw me coming he quickly receded down the hallway in the opposite direction. At lunch he was silent-well to me at least, but he was also particularly mellow with the rest of the gang.

"Hey Shy- " I glance up to see Seth looking my direction. Most of the conversation of the table had skipped over me, I think the tension between me and Jack was very apparent because everyone kept a safe distance. When Seth addressed me, all the attention switched my way and so I returned my gaze back down to my plate.

"- wanna have dinner with us again tonight? Well not at my house, we're eating at Emily's tonight." My eyes shot up when I receiving and invitation to something, not just a regular question. I don't know if I'm ready to get mixed up with these boys. It's been nearly a week and already I sense drama coming about, although it's all centered on Jack the rest of the boys will get mixed up most likely. They seem like they stick pretty close to one another. It wouldn't even be so bad if Jack wasn't so unpredictable. If he didn't want to be my friend I could work with that, if he wanted to I could work with that as well. It's the in-between I can't handle, the uncertain. It is or it isn't – that's what I'm used to. I don't know how to handle a situation where variables aren't stable.

"Well actually I think I'm supposed to have dinner with my family tonight, they planned a sort of little thing. Or something." I look away from Seth's eyes and the table altogether as I give my sketchy answer. I could tell this lie was not being believed too much either. The disappointment in Seth's eyes was evident. The other boys seemed to smirk a little, even throw Jack a glance or two as if waiting for him to speak up. I don't understand these guys, why does anything that relates me and Jack amuse them? Eventually my gaze ends up back on my lunch, the only place safe from awkward stares.

"You should come." I look up to Seth and reply "I really don't think I should Seth, I've got a lot of homework to do." Everyone looks at me funny all of a sudden, as if I don't do homework. Dang! That wasn't the excuse I originally used. Trying to fix my mistake I add "I don't think my parents would want me to bail, on the dinner, you know". I search Seth's face for any signs of having caught my slip-up but all I get in return is a smirk.

"Actually-" I glare as soon as Paul opens his mouth. Why does he always have to speak?

"Actually, it was Jack who said that." Embry finished up Paul's sentence for him. Jack said that? Jack wants me to come? At this point I'm starting to get _extremely_ annoyed with this fellow, and most of it is from confusion. He hates me, he hates me not, he hates me, he hates me not. I'm starting to get whiplash from his mood swings. I don't even know how to respond to this. I look at Jack to confirm this and his face, although not inviting, showed that this was indeed the truth. This dude man, he's going to make me crazy. But now I have an even bigger problem: if I say no Jack will be embarrassed from being rejected and if I say yes they will assume it is because of Jack and it's not.

Well is it? When I found out it was from Jack I did start to reconsider my answer, just a little bit. He hasn't even spoken to me since the incident. I don't care if he gets embarrassed, he deserves it.

"Sure, what time?" I guess he doesn't deserve it. Smiles and stifled laughter is the response I get from the group- everyone except Jack and Seth. I've come to ignore this.

" Well you can just come over after school so you can meet Jared and Sam." Seth said to me. He's the only one that acts normal with the whole me-and-jack-hating-eachother thing. Besides a sly smile or two he's pretty cool about it. Out of the whole group he's definitely my favorite.

A/N so guys I've decided that this story isn't going anywhere because no one is reviewing. Im going to start a different story. I'm not sure what its gonna be about but def jaconxoc so look out for it please! If anyone wants to see this story continued you know what you have to do. Thanks for reading .

-mia


	5. continuation

**So I've decided to continue with this story but,**

**please read and review chapters already posted!**

**any suggestions are welcomed**

**i'll continue the last chapter posted and move on from there, I hope you guys enjoy it!**

**meanwhile, check out my other story called 'The things left unsaid'  
**

**Thanks x**

**-bobia**


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